New Year's Revolutions
I'm actually making progress...
There's a scene in one of the best Xmas movies of all time - A Christmas Story, where Raphie spills the hubcap holding the lug nuts for the wheel his father is changing on the family car and he utters the F-word before he can catch himself, so later his Mom is washing his mouth out with soap and asks him where he learned "that word", and to paraphrase Ralphie's thoughts, he says "now I must have heard that word out of my dad's mouth a thousand times but the only name that came to my mind was - Schwartz!" who was his school-buddy and no sooner is the name out there than his mother calls Schwartz's mom and you can hear Schwartz's mom just beating the living crap out of Schwartz over the phone. So I'm watching this with my 6-year-old son, Nik and as soon as Ralphie says "Schwartz!" Nik, goes: "Oh, way to go, man!" with such disgust I had to laugh because my boy Nik would never narc on a buddy to save his butt.
That has absolutely nothing to do with my New Year's Resolutions.
OK, to the two of you who regularly read my blog, you know that I take these resolutions very seriously. Each year, I set up unreachable goals and then suffer the guilt when I don't achieve them...until I turned forty. Turning forty not only accelerated the decomposition of my living tissue but somehow it also gave me willpower. Since I turned forty, I've quit smoking. I've lost weight. I've gotten back in shape. Now for this year, there are just two things left from previous resolutions and one new one to add. I think 2010 is going to be the last year for resolutions because once I knock down these three, I can die happy. First, the two carry-overs from previous years:
1. Learn the guitar. Here's how it's going to go. I've enlisted the help of a friend who not only can actually play the guitar, but he also loves shopping for guitars for some reason, so we are (we have gone already actually) going out to music stores in town to find ther perfect acoustic guitar for me. And I am going to devote 4 hours per week to gee-tar-lernin' as they say in the deep south and Peterborough, Ontario, Canada (help me...)
2. Learn Spanish. 20 years ago, I found myself in Piles, this little hole in the wall town in southern Spain. I fell in love and vowed that I would one day return to Piles for my retirement, doing nothing but walking the beach, drinking the night away in Tapas bars, and nailing young senoritas during daily siesta. I haven't exactly worked out the detailed logistics but I'm pretty sure my chances of success are much greater if I can actually speaking the language.
And now, the newcomer...
3. Reconnect with friends. Get ready Jay, Ron, J.B., and Mel - you guys are on my short list of people I intend to come visit in 2010. Now you're probably thinking: "he thinks I'm his friend?!" Well, that's secondary to getting out of the house and getting some fresh air. Now, I have no money, so once I pitch my tent on your lawn you'll either have to invite me in or call the cops - either way it should be interesting. And for the lucky rest of you who I will not visit in person next year, I still resolve to insinuate myself into your lives in an invasive yet friendly fashion.
Good luck with yours! I turn 30 this year, and have decided that this is going to be the year that I end up NOT falling into the patterns that my father fell into with weight. At the very least, I want to lose weight this year. At the most, I'm going to overhaul my life, one day at a time.
100 lbs in 52 weeks is my goal. I guess we'll see.
Shane: You can dooo eet! (I can't actually write Spanish yet so writing English with a Spanish accent must suffice.) 100 lbs. in 52 weeks will require not only discipline, but a very consistent approach - you'll have to remain disciplined for an entire year, but I think you'll find that around month four, you'll find that you are getting good at the art of weight loss and it will become much easier. I wish the best for you on this effort. See you on your blog.
Whatever, I can usually get rid of it before anyone I care about sees it - I'll just leave the spam above in place this one time...
