Information

Motorcycle near miss...

...yet again!

Stephan Hoppe catching some shut eye on his bike.

The other day, I'm heading out to meet a friend at a restaurant for lunch. I decided to take the bike. It was really hot outside so I ignored one of the cardinal rules of motorcycling, which is to dress properly, and instead I just wore my t-shirt and shorts. No gloves. I did feel more exposed than normal but what the hell, it was a short ride.

So I am tooling southbound on Armour Road. It's a 50/kmh road and I'm doing 60. There are no cars in front of me but there are a couple behind me. As I approach Rogers Street coming up on my right, there is an old fart at a stop sign, waiting to make a left in front of me. Of course he doesn't see me, and of course he pulls right out in front of me facing the other frigging way looking for cars. And I don't know why, but even though I saw it all unfolding in front of me, I was actually surprised once again because I can hardly believe how fucking stupid people are! I slam on my brakes, trying to keep from fishtailing, completely forgetting about downshifting, forgetting to honk, about the cars behind me, forgetting everything. I'm just saying "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" over and over, not even saying it loudly as I try to keep the bike under control and all the time acutely aware of how I'm dressed realizing that even if I'm not really moving I will be seriously hurt if I fall off the bike for any reason.

So eventually, the piece of shit decides to actually turn his head to see where his car is pointed and lo and behold! There I am! So he stops. But he's in front of me now, in the middle of the road. I'm already stopped and trying to stuff my heart back down my throat into my chest cavity. You know what he does next? He shrugs! Sort of like: "Hey, these things happen!" I'm so shaken and stunned, I just put the bike into gear and move around the front of his car and continue to the restaurant.

A few minutes later, I'm at the restaurant and I'm shaking pretty badly. NOW, I am ready to beating the living crap out of the jerk, but of course he is probably miles away by now not seeing another motorcyclist. I strike up a conversation with some guy in the parking lot. We commiserate and share a couple of horror stories because hey, this is not a unique situation here. In this old-folk town (Podunk, Ontario) stuff like this happens DAILY, it seems.

And here we are now a couple of weeks later and as I recall the moment, I'm getting shaken all over again. It's getting so that I can no longer ride, because lately as I ride along, I can no longer relax enough to enjoy the ride, and every single car I see now represents a potential collision. I don't know what to do anymore, short of being a loud and reckless jerk when on the bike, because that's what it takes it seems to get car drivers' attentions. I swear to god, one day I am going to rob a BANK, and then jump on my motorcycle and get away at the most leisurely pace, because I know I will be completely invisible to everybody!

I've given this problem some thought and as I see it I have to do something - I have two choices:

1. Sell the bike.
2. Try to stay on the highways, and get one of those things that make the headlights flicker on the motorcycle. They're very eye-catching.

I'll think I'll try choice #2 before I go for choice #1.

My Bike Ride to Omemee

A Nice Surprise

The other day started out as a beautiful summer morning with just the right amount of sun and heat, so for the second time I decided to check out the TransCanada Trail and do the 25km leisure bike ride to Omemee from my home in Peterborough. Last year, I tried the TransCanada Trail for the first time to cycle to Keene, ON; I ended up losing the trail and becoming totally lost on some pretty hilly and potholed country roads.. I also busted my bike when my saddlebags got sucked into the rear wheel, and I ended up limping into Keene to call my wife to pick me up and bring me back home. On the way home, I consulted the map again - it was then I learned that I was travelling along a proposed trail, not an actual one. Stupid proposals.

This time, the ride to Omemee was a much different experience! I still broke my bike (what's up with that?!) but at least the trail was there. One thing I noticed only after riding for a while was that the trail was very level. So sometimes I would be riding along in this deep V-cut with the landscape rising up sharply on either side of me, and shortly after I'd be riding high on a massive earth berm looking out over the landscape. I guess that this is because the TransCanada Trail is largely made up of decommissioned rail lines, and trains can't climb hills. I gotta say it was way nicer than if I would have had to ride the highway to Omemee because it's pretty hilly country around here...

And the views were just incredible. I mean, I like a nice vista no more than the next guy but several times during this ride, I just had to stop and admire. Everything was so pretty. No doubt the quiet and the remoteness and the perfect weather also helped.

Omemee Bike Trip Slideshow

So at roughly the half-way mark, I came upon this railway trestle bridge. It was right around here. And by far, this bridge had the best view of the entire ride. It felt like the drop off on either side went on forever and I must say my stomach lurched a little as I rode across. I did not spend a whole lot of time in the middle of the bridge - just because the height made me queasy.

The total ride was only around 25km. At around kilometre 16, the cassette on my rear wheel broke, but the bike still worked somewhat and I didn't feel like getting my hands all dirty, so I limped into town at around 10 clicks per hour hour with my bike sounding like a bag of wrenches banging together. And like last year's ride to Keene, I called Patti for a pickup and we went out to lunch together.

Even with the breakdown, the ride to Omemee took far less than two hours. I can safely say it was over way before I was ready for it to be. The bike's all repaired now thanks to the Peterborough Community Bike Shop and I can't wait to get out there and do it again!

I may NOT be on Wipeout now

Stupid Canadian diversity...

Well, according to the Wipeout Facebook page, over 44,619 applications were received which just blows my mind because I'm sure applying for Wipeout is almost as scary as actually doing Wipeout. The release form you have to sign is just unreal. That's a lot of people to compete against for only a very finite number of spots. Still I was sure at the time of my application, that I would get on the show, here's why:

• Sure, there were 44,619 applications, but only about 5,000 with accompanying YouTube videos.
• You can't have a show depicting only fit, 20-something males. You also need fit 40-something males.
• Several of my responses to the application questions were hilarious and witty.
• I have a valid passport (Nigerian) and I do not have a criminal record (in Canada)

You'd think I would have received a call back within minutes of applying. BUT I DID NOT. Yet others near me HAVE gotten their callbacks. Because of this, I've given the whole thing some thought and I think I know now why I haven't received my call yet:

• After I clicked "submit application" nothing happened. It made me wonder if my app was even received by the system.
• Because of some absurdly Canadian desire for game show diversity, I sense that the producers of Wipeout Canada feel that their contestant pool must have an East Indian from Brampton, an Asian from Vancouver, and a hip, pierced, lesbian from T.O. - preferably black, etc. etc. etc. In this regard I am at a disadvantage because as you know (because I am always bragging about it) I am only 1/264 black and not at all lesbian - yet.

I am totally WILLING to become black and lesbian in order to get on Wipeout Canada...but I will never become Dutch because as I am (also) always saying: "There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch."

I'm going to be on Wipeout!

I just want to get my hands on those big balls.

Patti, Nik, Ellie, and I have been fans of Wipeout since the beginning, so when we saw the call recently to apply to be a contestant on Wipeout Canada, I knew I had to at least try to get on. So I have formally applied. I am pretty STOKED about it. I really HOPE I get accepted. And I KNOW I am going to hurt myself. A guy as klutzy as me is definitely going to get hurt. For instance, I will probably hit my head on some low hanging object if my everyday life is anything to go by. I'm just counting on the fact that nobody has ever been killed on Wipeout have they? You should see the disclaimer they make you sign. I will not hold Wipeout liable for "limb loss or maiming" What the what is that?!

Having never been on a TV show before, I thought the show would be shot in Toronto - they would build a Wipeout Canada set. But it seems the show (the whole season probably) will be filmed in Argentina in October. This is actually pretty smart because they can shoot Wipeout UK in September, Wipeout Australia in May...it must cost much less to simply fly the contestants out rather than each country having to build their own Wipeout set complete with Big Balls. So of course one of the conditions is that you have a valid passport. You must be crazy and have a valid passport.

Applying for Wipeout Canada is a pretty involved process. A long questionnaire, a head shot, a body shot, and they strongly recommend that you supply them with a video. I was really stuck as to what form my audition video should take, and it never occurred to me to search for Wipeout Canada Audition Video on YouTube which actually turned out to be pretty smart because I think my audition video turned out pretty good relative to the others - even if it is really long. At more than 8 minutes, it's the longest of all the Wipeout Canada audition videos. It's hard to tell though if it showcases me properly - I'm worried they are going to call and say: "You know, we're not really interested in having you on the show, but would your little girl be available?

Please click on my video many times in order to get the page views up!

Some of the applications questions and my answers:

Have you ever won any academic prizes or scholarships? If so, what?
No, though I did apply, I has never won any of "them thar" akademic skolarships.

Have you ever had your IQ tested to join an organization like Mensa? If so, what did you get?
I vaguely recall applying for Mensa several years ago. I got a 3.

Have you ever entered a beauty contest? If so, how did you do?
No, but I am sure I would have done extremely well. It would not have been fair to the other contestants.

What would your friends say are your best qualities?
Oh, you know. Too nice, too funny. I always pick up the cheque at the bar. Excellent wing-man - that type of thing.

How would you use your Wipeout Canada winnings?
Probably build my own Big Balls in my backyard. Or give it all to charity. Or build a Big Balls for charity.

What would your Wipeout Canada nickname be?
Max Power, MLC, Big Mclargehuge

What would your Wipeout Canada 'shout out' be when you start the course?
Get off my lawn!
Freeeeedddoooooom!
This is Sparta!
meep!
#@!$%

What qualities will the winner of Wipeout Canada possess?
He'll be roughly 6'4" tall, brown hair, blue eyes, devilishly handsome, beautiful wife, awesome kids.

Don't do this

It's unsafe.

  

Ok, smarty, what would YOU do?

I would make Oprah the President.

My friend Ron, who always writes interesting opinion pieces for his personal blog, has really hit one out of the park with his take on the current U.S. financial crisis and what he would do to reverse it.

After reading his article, I hilariously commented that... "with the exception of the abolition of the minimum wage, that sounds a lot like Canada!" but after thinking about it for a moment longer I remembered that we have always benefited from a large, prosperous, and friendly trading partner for our natural resources. What resources does the U.S. really have and who do they have to trade with? China?

I believe that in the long run, Canada cannot continue to be prosperous unless the U.S. is prosperous also. So, I certainly hope they take Ron's good advice.

Visit Ron's site: Personal Libertarianism

What are a Cell Phone's Long Distance Calling Rules?

No, it's not a silly question

After years of swearing off the demon devices, I finally caved and treated myself to a new iPhone. It wasn't really the need to call people that made me get one, it was the fact that everytime I left the house, I never could take my contact list with me, or my to-do list, or my calendar. And of course I was unreachable if people needed to reach me. So, now I had this cool new phone, but I had no clue as to how the charges work when I go somewhere outside of my local calling area and I need to make a phone call.

It's not a silly question! I don't think it's something I should already know. The extremely helpful cell-phone salesgirl tried to make me understand the rules of cell phone long distance calling to no avail. I asked at least 3 or 4 of my friends and none of them could answer. And I actually used to work for that crappy Bell Mobility company...anyway, I looked on the Internet and here it is in a nutshell:

For PLACING (outgoing) calls:

The only thing that counts is 'where you are'. Your own phone number has no importance whatsoever. You can only call local near where you are. So if you are in Montreal, you can call local in Montreal, if you are in Vancouver, you can call local in Vancouver. If you are in Toronto with a Vancouver phone number, you can call Toronto local, but calling Vancouver will be long distance even if your number is from there. When placing calls, look at your cell phone like if it was a public payphone from the city you are currently in. If it would be a long-distance to call where you want to call with a payphone, its will also be the case with the cell phone.

For RECEIVING (incoming) calls:

If you are outside your local calling area, you will be charged long-distance for any and all incoming calls .

I'm running with this now. I hope it's right.

Things must be really bad...

...if I'm siding with the NDP!

 

Trans World Expedition

The Year of Living Dangerously

"In the summer of 2009, Nicolas Rapp decided to take a break from his Art Director job at The Associated Press to attempt a one-year overland travel around the world in a 1996 Toyota Land Cruiser."

I have been following Nicolas Rapp's blog daily, since last year, as he makes his way around the world in his Toyota SUV. He faithfully updates his blog, day after day, week after week, generously allowing me to experience his trip vicariously through him.

This most recent entry however amazed me. It's been somewhat easy for him until now. He seems to be having a terrible time going from Ethiopia to Djibouti at the moment. I hope he makes it to better times soon!

Dear Sennheiser

I never thought I would be writing this letter...

On August 10, 2009, After purchasing and returning many other brands' styles of headphones, I bought some Sennheiser Sport Headphones (LX 70) online from from Futureshop. I've enjoyed these headphones not only for the sound quality, but also because they are the only design that actually stay in my ears while I work out at the gym.

Unfortunately, your product has not proven durable because of fraying at the point where the headphone cord meets the headphone itself. I am disappointed because even though I use these headphones often, I take great care with them and I feel that they should not have failed so soon. We both know that there is stress exactly at this point due to the weight of the cord as it comes from the left ear. I think that this is a design flaw.

To resolve the problem, I would appreciate it if you would replace my headphones, preferably with a set with this part reinforced (perhaps the PMX-70 instead?). Enclosed are URLs to a hi-res image of the defect as well as my original invoice from Futureshop for the headphones.

Traditionally, Sennheiser has been "the brand to have" when it comes to headphones. I also own a pair of HD420 headphones and they still work flawlessly despite many years of use. I hope that Senneheiser still stands behind their products. I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem.

Thank you

Stephan Hoppe
384 Gifford Drive
Peterborough, ON, K9L 1A8
705-749-2671

Dearest Patti...

just a gentle reminder for you...

 

He's Not Wimpy

...but my son will love this movie all the same.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie trailer 

McDonald’s Canada- Free Coffee All Day - March 1-14

No Purchase Required

It's as simple as that. Between March 1 and March 14, 2010 place your coffee order at any McDonald's in Canada and get it free. I was already getting a medium black each morning on my way to work; so this is a nice free bonus for me already. I've read that some McDonalds are just offering the small-sized coffees free and making customers who order larger pay the difference, but my McDonalds in Lakefield isn't hassling me like that and even if they were, it's just pennies.

McDonalds coffee today isn't the scalding hot crap of bygone times either. These days, I'd be hard pressed to tell the difference between their coffee and Tim Horton's coffee in a blind taste test. McDonald's cups are better too, and a Mcdonald's medium is as big as a Timmie's large.

I think that if Canadians speak out by switching to McDonalds for the next two weeks it will force Tim's to either improve their offering, increase their portion sizes (apple fritters are now the size of my thumbnail,) or drop their prices. This kind of competition has to be a good thing, right?

And if that's not motivation to switch your coffee provider for two weeks consider these other reasons:

• Tim Horton's puts cocaine in their coffee to get you addicted. While this is a good cheap source of cocaine, it's kind of morally wrong...
• Tim's lids suck! I can't get that stupid little tab to stay back. It always flicks up as I'm bringing the coffee to my mouth and deposits a little bead of coffee on my nose.
• Tim Horton's is no longer even a Canadian company! They are owned by Wendy's out of Columbus, Ohio. By comparison, McDonalds Canada is duh, Canadian, jointly owned by Shania Twain and Celine Dion.
• Roll up the Rim is totally rigged. I've rolled up like 10,000 rims and have never even won a donut. What's up with that?! Every time I roll up the rim it says: "Please play again" I roll it a little further to reveal "...sucker!"
• I've got nothing against Tim Horton's, but I've heard that in addition to selling coffee they also operate puppy mills across North America, they support separation, and they deny man's devastating impact on our climate. For shame, Tim's. For shame.

References:

McD's goes free to counter Tim Hortons

 Roll Up The Rim Cup A Fake 

sTEpHan hOPpE - A Tim Hortons Conundrum  

20 Shocking Minutes

This Is Important!

Jamie Oliver's TED Prize wish: Teach every child about food  is a "must-see" presentation. You don't even have to watch it online - you can download it for later, read the transcript instead, or even read along to it. If you have children you owe it to yourself to set aside some time and watch this straight through, even if only to reassure yourself that your own kids are not part of the affected majority.

I realize I am starting to get all worried/ fanatical/evangelical about the child obesity epidemic. I think it's mainly because it's getting so uncomfortably close to home. My kids aren't obese - yet. But I am far from satisfied with either their current diet or their level of physical activity. Unfortunately, the solutions are not uncomplicated. It's not as simple as putting more vegetables in front of them and then pushing them out the door. Or is it?

I guess I should take some comfort in the fact that I have at least identified the issue before it's (hopefully) too late. I've got to figure this out.

Guess where I'll be June 4th?

...NOT downloading this movie via torrent.

No way. I'll be standling in line at the theatre.

Today, I learned how to tie my shoes

This is incredible.

I'm actually a little embarrassed to admit it but today I finally learned how to tie my shoes. Until today I had no idea that I didn't already know how. Oh sure, I thought I knew how to tie them as far back as 1985 but as it turns out when it comes to shoelace tying (as Sergeant Schultz would say,) "I know NO-THING!" It turns out that all these years I have been tying my shoes with a granny knot when I should have been using a reefer knot. What motivated me to investigate this? My shoes always come undone on me no matter what the shoes (even shoes without laces! :-) and I always have to double-tie them. Double-tying works OK but can be a pain when it comes time to untie your shoes. Now, thanks to the Internet, I know how to tie my shoes! Yay!

Rather than lord it over all of you who still don't know how, I will share the secret. Check this out.

Isn't that amazing?! FYI, even more efficient is the Ian knot, which is billed as the quickest way to tie shoes and which seems to result in a perfect reefer knot! I've already mastered this knot and like it even better than the reefer! I think it was well worth the 5 minutes (Ok - 2 hours) it took to learn how to tie an Ian knot...

Now, both of you who are reading this are probably a little skeptical. I was too so I did a simple test at work. I have to wear steel-toe safety shoes, the ones with the with the round and infernally slippery laces; they are the perfect "test" shoe...so what I did was yesterday I simply tied the left shoe in a reefer knot and the right shoe in a granny knot. The results? Within 2 hours the granny knot came undone, and over the course of the next few hours it again came undone a total of three more times. And the reefer knot on my left shoe? It didn't come undone once. After 4 hours I discontinued the test because getting that close to my shoes...well, the smell was just too much for me, but the test results prove it. The Ian/Reefer knot rules!

New Year's Revolutions

I'm actually making progress...

There's a scene in one of the best Xmas movies of all time - A Christmas Story, where Raphie spills the hubcap holding the lug nuts for the wheel his father is changing on the family car and he utters the F-word before he can catch himself, so later his Mom is washing his mouth out with soap and asks him where he learned "that word", and to paraphrase Ralphie's thoughts, he says "now I must have heard that word out of my dad's mouth a thousand times but the only name that came to my mind was - Schwartz!" who was his school-buddy and no sooner is the name out there than his mother calls Schwartz's mom and you can hear Schwartz's mom just beating the living crap out of Schwartz over the phone. So I'm watching this with my 6-year-old son, Nik and as soon as Ralphie says "Schwartz!" Nik, goes: "Oh, way to go, man!" with such disgust I had to laugh because my boy Nik would never narc on a buddy to save his butt.

That has absolutely nothing to do with my New Year's Resolutions.

OK, to the two of you who regularly read my blog, you know that I take these resolutions very seriously. Each year, I set up unreachable goals and then suffer the guilt when I don't achieve them...until I turned forty. Turning forty not only accelerated the decomposition of my living tissue but somehow it also gave me willpower. Since I turned forty, I've quit smoking. I've lost weight. I've gotten back in shape. Now for this year, there are just two things left from previous resolutions and one new one to add. I think 2010 is going to be the last year for resolutions because once I knock down these three, I can die happy. First, the two carry-overs from previous years:

1. Learn the guitar. Here's how it's going to go. I've enlisted the help of a friend who not only can actually play the guitar, but he also loves shopping for guitars for some reason, so we are (we have gone already actually) going out to music stores in town to find ther perfect acoustic guitar for me. And I am going to devote 4 hours per week to gee-tar-lernin' as they say in the deep south and Peterborough, Ontario, Canada (help me...)

2. Learn Spanish. 20 years ago, I found myself in Piles, this little hole in the wall town in southern Spain. I fell in love and vowed that I would one day return to Piles for my retirement, doing nothing but walking the beach, drinking the night away in Tapas bars, and nailing young senoritas during daily siesta. I haven't exactly worked out the detailed logistics but I'm pretty sure my chances of success are much greater if I can actually speaking the language.

And now, the newcomer...

3. Reconnect with friends. Get ready Jay, Ron, J.B., and Mel - you guys are on my short list of people I intend to come visit in 2010. Now you're probably thinking: "he thinks I'm his friend?!" Well, that's secondary to getting out of the house and getting some fresh air. Now, I have no money, so once I pitch my tent on your lawn you'll either have to invite me in or call the cops - either way it should be interesting. And for the lucky rest of you who I will not visit in person next year, I still resolve to insinuate myself into your lives in an invasive yet friendly fashion.

Merry Christmas 2009

My son really loved the knife I gave him.

His mother? Not so much...

Adventures in Wiring

Split-Phase 220VAC/240VAC wiring strategies

I can't believe what a headache it has been wiring up my detached garage for 220 so I can run my construction heater. I have a cheap, simple 220V heater that I brought with me from my old house, where I had it successfully wired up in my garage there. It's been sitting around the garage for the last couple of years because I wanted to try out one of those propane dish things instead - the dishes are good, but on really cold days in small spaces the fumes make you hallucinate a little, and even though table saws and hallucination go together like peanut butter and jam, I thgouht I'd better stop being lazy and wire up my garage for 220...

Now, I went through a bit of a conceptual struggle years ago when I wired up my old garage for 220. You see, my construction heater has what's called a a NEMA 6 connector. We are all familiar with simple 110V outlets with a hot side, a neutral side, and a ground. We all know that hot is hot, current flows from hot to neutral, and the ground is there to provide a path to the ground in case there is a problem - so that the current doesn't use you as a path to ground. (I simplifiy all of this because that's the only way I can get my head around it...)

Some of us may even be familiar with the kind of 220V wiring used in something like a washing machine. There you have everything that the 110V connection has, plus you have a second hot wire. The first hot flows to neutral, the second hot flows to neutral, and you have your ground too. The great thing about this is that the washer can now use both hots (220V) to power the motor, while still having availiable just one hot (110V) to power the timer...

Now contrast all that with my little construction heater. There are only three wires used to connect it up - a hot, another hot, and a ground (for safety.) There isn't a neutral "to accept" the current flow from the hots. The first time I was faced with wiring this up I didn't really understand what the instructions were telling me so I called an old friend who is a journeyman electrician for advice.

He said, "You wire it up hot, hot, ground..."

I said, "Where's the neutral?"

"There is no neutral" he said.

"Then where does the current flow?!"

"I don't know," he said "that's just the way it's done."

Later (after completing the wiring as instructed and being utterly amazed that it worked) I learned about phases. I'm not sure about other towns nearby, but in Peterborough, Ontario, Canada we use current that alternates at 60 cycles (times) per second. That means that the hot wire alternates between 110V and 0V sixty times per second. Like a pulse. I think I have actually felt the pulse on the few occasions I have inadvertently grabbed onto a hot wire; I swear I've felt the current pulsing up my arm towards my heart. (That statement more than any other I make in this post should underline to you that I am not responsible at all, let alone responsible for what you do with the information I give you here ...) And it's this pulsing that is the secret of how my simple little two wire 220V NEMA 6 connection to my construction heater works.

You see, it relies on the fact that the two hots supplying it must be 180 degrees out of phase. So sixty times per second, while the red wire is 110V and the black wire is 0V, then the red flows to black. And in the next cycle when the red is 0V and the black is 110V, then then the current flows the other way. It's like when I was in army cadets and they sent 15 guys into each end of a tight 30 foot culvert pipe at the same time and demanded we come out the other side. I'm pretty claustrophobic and I'm not proud of how much crying I did that day, but that has nothing to do with electricty.

Get it? You've got two hots coming into your house from the street, a red and a black and they are 180 degrees out of phase. When you install the double pole breaker into your main panel to feed the garage sub-panel, you need to make sure that you straddle both bus bars in the panel with that breaker, so that you are supplying 2 times 110VAC with each leg being 180 degrees out of phase (split phase). If you wire it up so that you garage is fed twice by the same bus bar in your main panel, then you will be supplying 2 times 110VAC single phase...and that's exactly what the Gomer Pyles who lived in my house previously did when they wired up my garage's sub-panel to the main panel in the house. I made the mistake of thinking that the wiring in my home was workmanlike and to code, and so couldn't understand at first why my heater wouldn't power up even though I obediently straddled both bus bars in my sub-panel in the garage. (BTW, I didn't literally straddle them. That's frowned upon by electricity hobbyists like myself.)

Luckily the fix is simple. In my main panel, if I pop out the 15 amp breaker next to the 30 amp double-pole breaker going to my garage, then move the double-pole over by half into the now vacated space, and then re-plug in the 15 amp (master bedroom breaker) on the other side, then that new position straddles the bus bars and I will them be supplying split-phase power to the garage. And since the master bedroom breaker is only 15 amp, single-phase it doesn't matter where it goes. As I said, it's a simple fix. But man, that's a weird main panel...

National Novel Writing Month 2009 Results

I'm baaaack!...

On November 1st, 170,001 people (including me) set out in friendly competition to write a 50,000 word novel in less than 30 days for National Novel Writing Month. I entered because I always wondered if I had a novel in me. Today, I entered in the last few hundred words of my novel bringing me up over that magical 50,000 word mark. I'm not going to say it was particularly tough, but it did require some discipline. I'm glad it's over. Tonight, I am going out to celebrate! (which means: "eat chinese food buffet then get drunk") But for now, I post for you below an excerpt from the end of my terrible, horrible novel - entitled "eight". You can use this excerpt as a sleep-aid or as an object to ridicule me with - whatever. It's all good.

Detailed Stats

What's next for me? Well, first I am going to go back through the novel and cut out all of the stuff that would make you probably call the cops on me if you read it. "I think Steph's boss at work is in mortal danger!" Then I am going to spellcheck and edit for a couple of months. Then I am going to have just two copies of the book printed. One will go on my bookshelf, right in between my Penthouse autographed by Ashlyn Gere and my copy of Never Cry Wolf autographed by Margaret Atwood. The other copy I will raffle off to one (un?)lucky commenter. How much is a raffle ticket? Nothing. Just visit my site and leave a comment below this post. It don't have to be flattering; I would actually prefer brutal honesty - I just want to know if the excerpt below is interesting or not. If you are already on my mailing list (meaning you got this post via email) you don't even have to leave your email. Just leave your name and a comment and in February, the lovely Elllie will draw single name for half off the print run of the hot new novel - "eight."

This will be the very definition of limited edition folks, don't miss out on the opportunity.

The inspiration for the excerpt that follows came from my son, Nik - age 6. Not too long ago, we gave him a camcorder and let him film whatver he wanted for a day. Together with his friend Ryan, they came up with the idea of "The Boring Show." Essentially, they simply stood in front of the camera and quietly ate a cookie for 5 minutes. There was no dialogue. They kept their facial expression to a minimum. It was fascinating! I've wondered since, if I wrote something and tried to make it as boring as Nik and Ryan's Boring Show, would it somehow become perversely interesting?

I sat in my chair and ate a cookie. My mind was blank. As I ate, a couple of crumbs collected at the side of my mouth where the top lip meets the bottom lip. These crumbs would not end up in my mouth, nor were they going to fall on the floor. These crumbs were not going anywhere.

"How is the cookie?" asked Jane, my wife.

"Good." I said. I wasn't lying either. It was a good cookie.

I sort of absentmindedly looked down at what was left of the cookie in my hand. It was a plain cookie. I mean, it was a chocolate chip cookie but it came from a cheap bag of some generic brand of cookie so it had no chocolate chips at all. Other cookies in the bag may have some chocolate chips on them, but I guess the manufacturing process for these generic brands is so lax that entire cookies make it through the system without picking up a single chip. Like this plain cookie with no chocolate chips.

I sighed. Jane asked, "Can I have a bite?" but I was putting the last piece in my mouth just as she asked it, so I shook my head and mumbled "No." I then took another cookie out of the bag.

I think this one had chocolate chips. I didn't look because I was really tired at that moment, but I was pretty sure I could feel some chocolate chips with my fingertips. I would know for sure in a minute just as soon as I finished chewing and swallowed the cookie in my mouth and took a bite from this new cookie. Then I would know for sure.

It was taking a long time to finish this bite of cookie. My mouth was pretty dry from the two previous bites of cookie. I wondered if maybe that was the purpose of chocolate chips in cookies, to lubricate the mouth orifice so as to facilitate the swallowing of the cookie. And because the cookie in my mouth had no chocolate chips, that was maybe why I was finding it so dry and hard to finish. That then, would be the purpose of the chips, to act as a lubricant, and the taste of the chips would be the benefit. Not that this cookie was the dryest cookie I have ever eaten, that award would go to a shortbread cookie I had several years ago. Shortbread cookies have lots of cream of tartar in them and I think that dries the heck out of you mouth, like if you ate a spoonful of alum or something. Though alum would kill you I'm pretty sure.

This chocolate chip cookie was nothing like that old shortbread cookie from several years ago. I sighed again.

"Does your cookie make you sad?" asked Jane.

I shook my head. "It's just a cookie" I said.

"Yeah." said Jane. "Can I have a bite of the cookie in your hand?"

"Sure." I said, and I gave her the cookie in my hand. "Hey, does it have any chocolate chips?" I asked.

"I think I see a couple of chips here." she said. I sighed and rubbed my finger and thumb together on the hand that had just been holding the new cookie. Sure enough, it was well lubricated with melted chocolate. Jane took a bite and gave me back the cookie.

Finally, I was finishing chewing the last bite of the chip-less cookie. I swallowed it noiselessly. After a moment of waiting for my saliva supplies to regenerate, I took a bite of this new chipped cookie. The difference was obvious.

"You have a couple of crumbs stuck to the side of you mouth," said Jane. "You know, where your top lips connects to your bottom lip."

She sighed, then paused, chewing and enjoying her bite of cookie no doubt. She said, "Would you like me to get it?"

"What?" I said "The crumbs?"

Jane said, "Yes."

I said, "No, it's OK. I've got it." And I wiped the crumbs from the side of my mouth. You know the spot I am talking about.

All of a sudden, the cookie bag fell over. It was very exciting.

"That was exciting." said Jane.

"Mmm mm." I said. Though this new cookie had far better lubricating properties than the previous one, it was still much drier than say, a cup of oil. But I had to agree, the bag falling over in the quiet room was very exciting, even though no cookies fell out of the bag.

"That was a close one." said Jane. I nodded, picked up the bag, and motioned to her in the universal gesture of cookie-offering - because my mouth was still full of cookie. I couldn't really talk if I didn't want more crumbs to collect at the side of my mouth, or worse, to fall on the carpet.

She shook her head. "No thanks." she said. So I closed the bag securely and stood it back up on the table.

H1N1 Disgrace

The Canadian Medical Community's handling of the H1N1 Flu crisis is a complete disgrace.

Despite my almost frantic searching for clear and concise information and resources so I would be able to act quickly in the best interests of my children, I felt confounded at every turn by the idiotic medical establishment. Here's my timeline of what I experienced:

• In early October, the media reports that vaccine manufacture has been ramped up and there will be plenty of vaccine for everybody in Canada who wants it. Clinic locations and hours are announced.
• Two weeks later, even though flu season is well underway, there is a shortage of vaccine and so healthy children must wait while the most at risk children get their shots.
• A healthy kid in Toronto dies in four days of H1N1.
• A week later they finally open up the clinics to the public. I plan on going to get my kids vaccinated in 4 days time.
• Two days later, before the public clinics even open, the vaccine shortage is again so acute, they re-close the clinics to the public! I think to myself, "screw it" and decide I will punch my way through a legion of medical staff if necessary to get vaccines for my kids.
• As I originally planned, the following Monday I arrive at the clinic just 30 minutes after opening. I am expecting line ups. There is nobody there. Actually there are about 10 people in front of me. I decide to play it stupid. The staff asks me if my kids are high risk and I say, "I dunno. My wife said bring 'em in, so I brought 'em in...I don't even believe in this H1N1 malarkey anyhow..." Because I used the word "malarkey" they think I'm Irish so they must immediately realize it's pointless to challenge me with difficult questions - I just won't know the answers. This plus the fact that there is nobody in the clinic makes it hard for them in good conscience to turn my kids away. They get their shot.
• Much to my kids chagrin (to my daughter's terror actually) we all learn that they will need to come back in 21 days for another shot. They are very clear about this. If we don't get the second shot, then the first shot is wasted. The kids won't be properly immunized.
• The hospital is Peterborough, Ontario instructs family physicians to clear their schedules each day from 3PM onwards. The plan is to divert patients from the overwhelmed emergency room at the hospital to their family doctor. When I heard of this, I thought it was a great idea. Apparently the doctor's didn't. They went home, they went on vacation, or they just plain did not clear their rosters as instructed.
• Despite my own experience, I am seeing on TV long line-ups for flu shots, yet when the posted clinic closing hours come, the clinics still close! In any other industry if there was an emergency, you would expect them to work extended hours, but when 6PM comes for these doctor's and nurses, they go home. In fact, I understand that many doses of vaccine went to waste because they are packaged in multiples. The needle givers would open a package and not use it up before closing the clinic!
• Concerns arise over the safety, dosage, everything to do with the vaccine. There is no coherent and definitive information to be found anywhere. Not even at the Health Canada web site.
• Now, the Peterborough County Health Unit reports that kids no longer need the second dose of vaccine... or they do ...or they don't. I've read the fucking document three times and I can't figure out whether or not my healthy 6 and 9 year old children require the second dose or not!
• I still haven't gotten my shot. I wanted everyone else in my family to have it first in case the vaccine turned everyone into brain-eating zombies. I should have known better. My kids won't even eat peas, let alone brains...I'm ready for my shot now, and I think there is a clinic somewhere willing to give it to me, but flu season is almost over now...

As I get older, I can't escape the sneaking suspicion that despite the face they present to the world, the medical profession doesn't really have the answers for all but the most basic stuff; they don't even know what the hell they are doing. My experiences during this H1N1 scare only reinforces that.

NaNoWriMo 2009 Progress Report

Believe me, it's not literary gold.

Well, I'm19 days into this 50,000 word novel-writing competition. So far, I have a grand total of 32124 words of (what I am going to optimistically call) prose, which puts me 470 words (about 3/4 of one page) ahead of the game. Yay!

Surprisingly, many people have expressed interest in reading the book once I finish it (I guess people enjoy angry and disjointed profanity-laced rants.) But alas, just as you wouldn't in one sitting eat a pig that once saved your life, you also shouldn't expect to be able to read every masterpiece that ever flowed from the word processors of the gods.

I'm not saying I'm a god...I'm just saying....

It's NaNoWriMo Time!

See you in December

I exclaimed in horror after stepping on the scales this morning, "I am so fat and ugly!" My wife in the next breath said, "Well, you're not fat..." which she thought was so clever but I don't think it's clever to paraphrase the insults of Winston Churchill. That just makes you a parrot and not a very good one at that.

My name is Estefan and I am the Mexican attache to the United Nations. Not the actual United Nations in New York City mind you, but the United Nations Waffle House in St. Louis, Missouri where we got a nice sausage and waffles special every Monday.

These are possible openings for the novel that I will be writing over the next 30 days as I participate in NaNoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month. Billed as a literary orgy of "really big" proportions by its organizers, NaNoWriMo is an opportunity for fledgling wannabe writers such as myself to deliver hurried, disjointed, and poorly edited prose to the world, whether the world wants it or not.

Here are the rules: competitors must produce a 50,000 word novel in just 30 days. That's 1666 words or 6.6 pages of copy for each and every day of November. It doesn't have to be Theodore Shakespeare, with NaNoWriMo it's quantity over quality. You can't start until November 1st and you can't finish after the 30th. That's it.

The prize? Nothing, except the satisfaction of being able to say that you finally wrote that novel you've always been meaning to write. And a web page badge for your home page. Because of the dearth of prizes, I guess that's why there will be little verifiable cheating amongst this year's 150,000 plus participants - because what's the point?

I've tried NaNoWriMo once before and failed. Back in 2006, I wrote down barely 2000 words before unceremoniously quitting and then furiously rationalizing excuses for why I quit. My one big reason, and it's the one I'm sticking to, was that I chose a plot that required research, which I did not do, and then when I got stuck on one small point, I had neither the time to research or the ability...ah whatever. This time, I have no plot idea. The words will be the thing. And to help me succeed I am going to drop out of sight until the end of November - I will host no fabulous dinner parties, I will do no web site updates, no checking email; I'm not even going to do dishes, take out the garbage, or beat the children (though Patti doesn't know that yet...) I swear on my mother's grave that I am going to do at least the requisite 1666 words per day even if I must resort to: "It was a rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy, rainy day, yet strangely, I was dry..."

And I know that the only way I will be able to generate that many words in such a short time will be if I minimize all distractions while writing. I think I have found the most beautiful tool with which to do that. It's called Q10 and I'm actually writing this post with it right now. Q10 is a minimalist editor. It runs beautifully on a USB key. It has a fully customizable auto-save that actually works. It has spell checker, it has word counts, it has a notes feature, it has auto-correction. It has quick-text and alarm timers. It even has the ability to make a typewriter sound as you type. Including the carriage return bell! (It's funny, my kids have no idea what typewriter even sounds like...) It has been custom-designed for NaNoWriMo. It's well documented, and it's free. You can tell it was programmed with skill, certainly more skill than I have. And it works perfectly. Beautifully. It's pretty light on instructions though, so I've created my own Q10 Reference Card and printed that out to refer to when necessary...

So! Wish me luck! Pay me a visit at some point during November to see how I'm doing, and I'll talk to you in December!

A Bonus Blog Post

I wasn't going to blog this month...

...but this is such a thoughtful well-written article with so much hope for the future, I thought it would be a shame not publicize it with the full weight and power that shoppe.ca commands:

 

The Electric Company Sucks

And in Canada, we call our electricity: Hydro.

Last July, I moved roughly 150kms from the dentally-challenged Sutton West, Ontario to "the birthplace of boredom" - Peterborough, Ontario. I used to get a Hydro (electric) bill once every two months in Sutton, and because everything in the Sutton house was natural gas, the Hydro bill rarely varied. So every two months, I would get a bill for roughly 60 days of "service"; I would use an average of 25 kilowatt/hours (kWh) of hydro per day at 5.5 cents per kWh, I'd pay $55 for delivery (even though I never did see the delivery guy,) $10 in "regulatory" charges, $9.75 for the $%#@! "debt-retirement" charges (which I really should charge back to my parents since the "debt" was created during their generation) and another $10 of GST for Prime Minister Steven Harper - making the total bill about $160 to $180 every two months, or looked at another way - I paid about $85 per month to the over-paid, blood-sucking leeches at Hydro One for electricity.

Now, I knew that with moving to Peterborough, the Hydro bill was going to go up. Peterborough is a bigger house than Sutton was. Where Sutton had three window air conditioners, Peterborough has central air. Where Sutton had gas stove and gas dryer, Peterborough has an electric stove and electric dryer. And where Sutton had this little hot-water-gas furnace, Peterborough has a bigger (abeit 15-years newer) FAG furnace. But that's about it. And compared to the wooden Sutton house, the all-brick Peterborough house is practically hermetically-sealed and super-insulated. So in the first month we lived here, I vainly hoped for just a 10% increase in my Hydro bill but deep-down I knew that wasn't practical and so I gritted my teeth and prepared for an up to 30% increase instead.    ...read more...

Finally, I got my first bill - for two months. It was more than $300. A roughly 100% increase.

So I called Hydro One to ask them why. I was crying pretty hard so I didn't hear everything, but through it all I was able to ask three questions:

1. Why is the new billing period every month instead of every two months?
2. Why was the delivery charge per month in Peterborough the same amount as for two months in Sutton?
3. How could my Hydro usage have gone up so much? And why was the price per kWh so much higher than in Sutton?

To answer, the nice man at Hydro One laughed at me for a while, then told me that in Peterborough they've been on the Hydro One teat for some time, while Sutton joined the Hydro One fold much more recently (with the sale of Georgina Hydro to Hydro One - which I remember), and so there are some differences between the two locations:

1. As a courtesy to the ex-Georgina Hydro customers, Hydro One decided to continue with the every-two-months billing previously established for those customers. Not so in Peterborough.
2. As a courtesy to the ex-Georgina Hydro customers, Hydro One decided to continue with a subsidized delivery charge rate previously established for those customers. Not so in Peterborough.
3. To answer the third question, the man at Hydro told me that since I am now on a well (the old house was on municipal water,) apparently the well pump eats hydro like a frog eats fudge.

So I bought a kill a watt and attached it to every single thing I could attach it to. I tried it on my computer, monitor, flat-bed scanner, dehumidifer, washing machine, fridge, and deep freezer. But because they 210 volt appliances, I did not use it on my furnace, water pump, sump pump, or dryer. In the end, I spent a goodly amount of time collating the data and crunching the numbers and came up with two possibilities:

• That orange extension cord running from my property to my neighbour's property might have something to do with it.
• The Electric Company Sucks

Retrieving records from MSSQL with PHP

This is the result of two solid days of work

<?php

$myServer = "WorkServer";

$myUser = "Administrator";

$myPass = "123456";

$myDB = "ImportantFinancialDatabase";

//est. a connection to the database

$conn = new COM ("ADODB.Connection") or die("Cannot start ADO"); //create an instance of the ADO connection object

$connStr = "PROVIDER=SQLOLEDB;SERVER=".$myServer.";UID=".$myUser.";PWD=".$myPass.";DATABASE=".$myDB; //define connection string, specify database driver

$conn->open($connStr); //Open the connection to the database

   ...read more...

//1. Pull a single value

unset($single_value);

$rs = $conn->execute("SELECT ItemNo FROM Tbl_ItemMaster WHERE ItemNo='100061'");

$single_value = $rs->Fields(0);

echo "Single Value: $single_value<br />";

//2. Pull multiple values

$rs = $conn->execute("SELECT ItemNo,Description FROM (SELECT * FROM Tbl_ItemMaster WHERE (ItemType='MFG') OR (ItemType='PUR') OR (ItemType='CAMO')) DERIVEDTBL WHERE (ComodityGroup<>'PCKG') AND (ComodityGroup<>'PRNT') AND (ComodityGroup<>'SERV') AND (ComodityGroup<>'METF');");

$num_rows = $rs->Fields->Count();

while (!$rs->EOF) //carry on looping through and writing while there are records

{

$cm_itemno[] = trim($rs->Fields(0)->value);

$cm_desc[] = trim($rs->Fields(1)->value);

$rs->MoveNext(); //move on to the next record

} /* END looping through while there are records */

//print_r($cm_itemno);

//3. ATTEMPT to pull a value (value may not even exist)

//unset($single_value);

//$rs = $conn->execute("SELECT MatCst FROM Tbl_StndCostTable WHERE ItemNo='900061'");

//$single_value = $rs->Fields(0);

//echo "Single Value: $single_value<br />";

/* Results in: Catchable fatal error: Object of class variant could not be converted to string in C:\Documents and Settings\shoppe\Desktop\retrieving records from MSSQL.php on line 35 */

/*

The above is not detectable by:

!== ''

is_null

isset

empty

etc. etc. etc.

*/

//4. How to pull non-existent values from a MSSQL database. The query was successful but the value don't exist...

unset($single_value);

$rs = $conn->execute("SELECT MatCst FROM Tbl_StndCostTable WHERE ItemNo = '900061';");

if ($rs->EOF or $rs->BOF) {

echo "Single Value: 0<br />";

} else {

$single_value = $rs->Fields(0);

echo "Single Value: $single_value<br />";

}

//close the connection and recordset objects freeing up resources

$rs->Close();

$conn->Close();

$rs = null;

$conn = null;

?>

It's my 43rd Birthday today

I hope I get calcium supplements

"sTEpHan wearing his birthday t-shirt."

Please take a moment to wish a happy birthday to these famous people born today...

  08 - Oct - 1980   Nick Cannon
  08 - Oct - 1970   Matt Damon
  08 - Oct - 1966   Stephan Hoppe
  08 - Oct - 1956   Stephanie Zimbalist
  08 - Oct - 1949   Sigourney Weaver
  08 - Oct - 1943   Chevy Chase
  08 - Oct - 1943   R.L. Stine
  08 - Oct - 1941   Jesse Jackson
  08 - Oct - 1939   Paul Hogan
  08 - Oct - 1895   Juan Peron

Even more fascinating stuff that happened on this day: IP - DT - BT - WP - HO - AAR - OTD - A/D - FW - IMDb

Trailer Park Boys

Countdown to Liquor Day

I'm a big fan of the Trailer Park Boys. So much so that until recently I sported that belly you see in the picture even if I didn't have that particular tattoo. I even saw them live in Lindsay, Ontario about six months ago when they did their live Ricky, Julian and Bubbles Community Service Variety Show. That was where the boys had to fulfill a court-ordered community service to demonstrate the dangers of using alcohol and drugs (although I don't think the show had the effect that the courts intended.) I can't wait to see this movie!

Photoshop Tutorials

By far, the best Photoshop Tutorials I've ever come across.

I could never do this in real life without the tutorial to help me along...

http://www.photoshopessentials.com/photoshop-text/text-effects/light-burst/ 

Yard Sale Treasures

My amazing deals using my patent-pending yard sale system

I have a theory that the best time for yard sales is after Labour Day. this is because most yard "sailors" have already packed up for the year but there are still people desperate to get rid of their crap before the cold weather really sets in.

Of course, Saturday morning is yard sale morning. I try to get out of the house without Patti and the kids. That's hard since they usually want to come along. Their presence reduces my "yard sale efficiency co-efficient" by a factor of at least fifty, but even with them along I can still have a successful day. I always hit church sales first; because they are big and because the people there have already resigned themselves to the fact that all the money is going to god, so because they know they won't be seeing any of the money, they don't really care what I offer for an item.

Next I hit the street sales where an entire neighbourhood can actually coordinate a sale together on the same day, which I always find amazing. And on the way to church/street sales I might have little individual/ family garage sales marked on my map - if they are on the way.

And I don't usually discriminate by area or town, but I usually don't spend any time in really scummy areas.

Family yard sales hosted by people my age are usually lucrative, while those hosted by raisins (old folk) can be a crap shoot. Buddy, your blunted, rusty, 50-year-old screwdriver isn't worth $5 bucks! The absolute best family yard sales are the ones where the raisin's kids are having the garage sale for the raisin because the raisin doesn't need any of his stuff at all anymore - if you know what I mean. In Peterborough, Ontario there are A LOT of raisin-kids sales...

Here's the results of yesterday's voyage around town with Patti and the kids in tow. Let's see how we did.

 

1. (from left) Adidas handbag plus various Ty Beanie babies and a coupleof toys for Ellie - ~$5?
2. A garage creeper for me, dusty but in perfect condition. Especially needed because of a moment's inattention on my part caused by Patti recently that made me run over my existing creeper with the mini-van...$0.50
3. A closet organizer system. New in sealed box. For Patti's bedroom closet. We've wanted one of these for a while but have been putting off buy one because of the installation time. $5
4. Eight paperback novels - ~$4
5. A bi-level wooden tray with a built-in ceramic trivet (for hot coffee) a slot for magazines or newspapers, and a cut out for flowers. Homemade but nicely done - $1
6. Two disposable BBQs and two large citronella bucket candles (for camping trips.) All sealed and new. - $3.50
7. A set of stainless-steel BBQ tools. New in sealed box. We needed these because our cheap 10-year-old steel tools have rusted. $5
8. (in the cardboard box) A candle set - each candle sits in a miniature tea cup - free.
9. Black halogen floor lamp. - $1.00
10. Two Lego Technics sets plus various Bionicles, Beanie Babies, and misc toys for Nik - ~$4?
11. For Patti, two painted tins buckets in odd shapes, plus some wicker globe thing (obscured by blue cooler) that holds a candle - $5?
12. For me, small blue cooler/ lunch box and a wooden photo-cube - $3.

Our grand total was less than $35. (We actually spent more than that on Timmies and McDonalds for breakfast) Of the things I was going to buy anyway, I figure the creeper would have cost me $50, the organizer $80, and the BBQ tools - $40. The rest is gravy.

This wasn't our best yard sale day by a long shot, but it was up there.

A new Thingamablog is here!

After nearly two years, version 1.5b1 is released.

September 10, 2009 - After almost two long years I was convinced that Thingamablog was dead so I don't know what inspired me to visit the Thingamablog site this morning. But there, lo and behold posted just 10 hours earlier was a new version of Thingamablog along with a new domain registered and a promise to get the forums back up and running! Yay!

Eagerly, I downloaded and installed the new version - 1.5b1. Here is my take on it:

   ...read more...

Installation

• The first thing I noticed, from reading the EULA, is that Thingamablog is now freeware instead of open source. What this means to the average user is that they will no longer have access to the source code, which I imagine will not be such a big deal to most. I've suggested to Bob many times that he take Thingamablog commercial. Perhaps these are his first tentative steps towards that end.
• The default target install folder is the same as the folder for my currently installed version (1.1b4) of Thingamablog. So when installing I changed the default path to: C:\Program Files\Thingamablog2
• There is a nice new logo.

Under the Hood

• According to the readme, the minimum required JRE version is now 1.6
• Yikes! There's been a huge jump in the HSQL database version! From 1.7.1 to 1.8.0.9. And I couldn't even find that version on sourceforge. (The closest I could find was 1.8.0.10)
• After installation was complete, I started "New Thingamablog" for the first time. The first thing that happened was that Thingamablog asked me what my new "profile" should be called and where it should be placed on my disk. I quickly realized that a "profile" in 1.5b1 is what a "database" was called in 1.1b4. This seemingly minor change will clear up a lot of confusion for current users of Thingamablog. Here's why:
• In old Thingamablog, you had a database often called Thingamablog, which contained a folder called database, which in turn contained your HSQL database. Everything was called database!
• Now you have a profile probably called ThingaProfile, which contains a folder called data, which in turn contains your HSQL database. Much easier to understand!
• I have no idea how labels are handled when using an existing 1.7.1 database. I can't even find the labels table in the database. And I have no idea how extra fields are handled at all.

Main GUI

• The newsreader is now closable. This is good for people who don't need the built in newsreader, like me. I've tried to need it over the years but could never really make it useful for me
• I opened up my existing profile, which contains my nine active weblogs. There are quite a few user interface changes - from the tasks window relocated to a tab, to the new "recent entries" box. It's all very intuitive and pretty. Right away I noticed that if you select the "current" folder under a weblog in the left-side tree pane, the sort order of the entries list (right-side) now stays between sessions! Yay! It always drove me nuts to constantly have to sort by "Date Posted" every time I started Thingamablog...
• The push-pins no longer change from red to blue if you modify a previously modified entry. Aw. I loved those blue push-pins...
• A little thing, but you can now access Authors from the left-side tree pane.
• I notice that now when you open an image from the web folder in the left-side tree pane, it opens in the system default image viewer. Before it used to open in a Thingamablog built-in viewer.
• Theme packs, like "posting from email" is also in this version of Thingamablog. I don't think that this was ever satisfactorily documented, And theme packs simply do what a savvy user could do already, namely zip up templates and root web media files.
• Publishing is now a very sexy process, but I notice that Thingamablog didn't flick over to the tasks tab when I hit "republish all." I had to manually select that tab; an agonizing and laborious extra click.

Editor Window(s)

• As for the new template editor and entry editor, I can only say Holy COW! The editor windows have undergone a huge overhaul.
• They're tabbed now instead of windowed. It's real nice. Real nice! Right now, if the entry tab is active and you open the template editor, that becomes tab number three (the tasks tab is tab #2.) Now if you close the template editor tab, you are placed back onto tab #2, the tasks tab, even though you most probably want to be back to tab one (main tab) I think that it would be better if new tabs were inserted to the right of the current tab, rather than simply placed in the right-most position of the MDI...
• It's nice now to be able to add new categories now from within the Entry Editor window. Before, you had to exit the editor to add a new category, then go back into the entry editor to check it off.
• In the Entry Editor window, you can now add "extra fields", categories, and labels to your Entry pages. I think TAMB turns these into TAMB variables (like <$EntryID$>) however because there is currently no help file, and the templates haven't been updated, I have no idea how to actually use these on the parsed out pages...
• Boy, the swing pane editor thingee is really improved. You can now check spelling as you type!

Settings

• There are many big changes on the "Configure Weblog" front
• A big change is that under Archiving, the day interval can now be set to a maximum of 50,000! (previously it was 999) This is an awesome development for those who don't want their archives split into pieces...
• I know alot of people requested this: Under Entry Pages, now the entry file name can contain the entry title (up to 255 chars). Many feel that this makes their site's pages more SEO friendly. Bob's implementation of this is really simple and elegant as well because regardless of what you choose, the database remains unchanged! If you choose this new option, Thingamablog merely parses out the entry page title as the filename. Only the <$EntryPermalink$) changes. The <$EntryID$> tag stays the same, which is nice for all of my PHP scripts that rely on it
• If you have two posts with identical titles, TAMB appends the Entry ID number to subsequent titles to prevent duplications. In my test-case a "-5" was added.
• Also under Entry Pages there is the option: Organize Pages in subdirectories. I couldn't get this to do anything in my test setup
• Small bug. With the site selected in the the left-side tree pane, you can click on "Configure Weblog settings" (on the right-side) until the cows come home and nothing will happen. You have to click the icon on the toolbar/button bar, or select it from the Blog menu.

Overall, though this release is looooong overdue, there are tons of groovy new features. It's certainly worthy of the minor version number increment, Kudos to Bob!

Update!

September 11, 2009 - Ummm. The more I play with this new TAMB, the more I realize I should wait for a higher beta number...

During publish, something is blowing away the contents of the temp folder under the weblog folder when I publish.

• The last profile opened value is now stored on the C:\drive under %APPDATA%\Thingamablog and I can't figure out how to make TAMB store it elsewhere.
• Your super-vital-important database does get updated when running it with the new TAMB. If you don't back it up first, there is no way to "downgrade" back to 1.1b4...

NaNoWriMo 2009

This year, I'm gonna do more than 1,200 words...

 

DIY Yogurt

Make your own yogurt at home in just 20 minutes

Lately, I've been making my own yogurt. Over the last couple of weeks I've made a couple of batches and I may just never go back to store bought yogurt ever again. Home-made yogurt tastes amazing, is fast and easy to make, and is really cheap! - less than a third of the cost of store bought yogurt.

Here is the equipment I use:

• Pot
• Measuring cup
• Candy thermometer
• 1 quart/liter mason jar plus cap and ring
• tea towel
• 2 rubber bands

Here are the ingredients:

• milk
• 2 tablespoons or so of yogurt from your last batch.

It goes without saying that everything should be clean. To me, clean is a relative term. Washed in soapy water is clean enough for me. I don't boil containers in advance or run them through the dishwasher. If a pot or jar has been washed and put away into the cupboard, then it's clean. Here's how I do it.   ...read more...